Morning Vent, 20 January 2010

I imagine this must have been a bitch to clean!

   
Why doesn't anyone make toaster pizza any more? When I was a kid, one of my favorite things was Buitoni's Toaster Pizza. It was a round pita-like crust with all the sauce and cheese sealed inside. You popped it into your toaster and two minutes later, it was ready! You could slice it open and put extra cheese or slices of pepperoni in while the cheese was still magma hot, too! It was too hot to eat right away anyway, since there was no venting at all. The Buitoni toaster pizza was a perfectly sealed saucer of crust. And it was delicious.
    The Buitoni Toaster Pizza went the way of the brontosaur so long ago that I can't find any pictures of it on Google. There are pictures of lesser toaster pizzas, like the hideous, mutant progeny of the mating of a pizza and a Pop-Tart on the right, but none of Buitoni's. The internet was a gleam in DARPA's eye when my favorite childhood snack shuffled off the mortal coil.

Like this, but more Italian.

    When I was a kid, there were few burger places around. We basically had Carrol's and that was it. There were two: One on Route 9 and one across the Hudson in Newburgh. Both were eventually phased out and transformed into Burger Kings, but I still miss the Big-R-Beef, a triple-decker roast beef sandwich which needed a frackin' cardboard collar around the middle to keep it together!